


Reincarnation is a Bitch

by Shadow_crawler



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: I'm so sorry, M/M, Reincarnation, but we be gettin close, does THIS one finally earn the major character death tag?, i dont think so, this one's weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 10:13:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15861576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow_crawler/pseuds/Shadow_crawler
Summary: The galaxy's most reckless flyboy has a bit more than nine lives





	Reincarnation is a Bitch

Todd sat next to John in the Atlantis infirmary. He’d had a weak heart for awhile and his fragility had only gotten worse in the past few days, now he couldn’t sit up on his own, let alone stand. He’d been on watch for a heart attack for a few months now too. 

Listening to the heart monitor and it’s steady rhythm, Todd asked John not for the first time if he’d just let him Gift John with Life. Todd knew the answer but asked anyway. John shook his head, out of formality more than actually needing to reply.

His friends had all visited, those who still lived, in the past days. Torren was a brand new grandfather now and John’s face had lit up when he got to hold his surrogate great granddaughter. Rodney had come hobbling in with his cane and Jennifer in her wheelchair. Ronon has passed two years ago and Teyla four months after him but it still felt like they were there, saying goodbye while also welcoming him.

John gave a contented sigh, closing his eyes. Todd had stopped worrying at this point, the man was tired a lot and was often sleeping, only awake to eat or use the bathroom. It was like dealing with a baby again.

Todd’s head jerked up at the sudden ringing then nurses were rushing in and he realized it was the heart monitor that was screaming. The medical staff didn’t do much, there wasn’t much to do with a man John’s age. Todd stood by and watched but knew he was gone, his body was simply too old, older than what he’d been drained to the day they met.

The nurses seemed uneasy around the wraith but one nodded in silence to him as they left one by one until a single remained and then even she left to give the loved ones time to process and grieve. Todd was old, though, old even for an immortal. He no longer grieved. But looking down at the withered face of the man he loved still seized his heart more than the days he lost his queen, his first love, and the child they had together.

Todd slid back into his seat next to John’s bed and took his hand. The skin was scaley to the touch but still warm, betraying what had become of its owner. Todd studied John’s face, something he hadn’t done since their love was fresh, wanting, needing to commit every detail to memory before he got up and walked away forever.

Decades later, he’d all but forgotten about the love he’d had for a century. If anything, he’d suppressed the memories, locking them away in a spot next to his heart, never to be touched. Todd was immortal, after all, over ten thousand years old, he knew how to ignore feelings.

Wraith society had regressed from where it had come when Atlantis was working with them. There were those that chose to live like humans, the group Todd used to belong to, and the ones he travelled with now who still fed like true wraith.

It was collecting up villagers of a planet, the caught women holding children to their chests and men in front, protecting their families, when Todd saw him. He didn’t have anyone to protect but he wormed his way to the front anyway and squared his shoulders, eyes challenging all of them.

Ember, one of the few wraith to follow Todd to the new hive, was taken aback and took his eyes off their prey to watch Todd’s reaction. Kenny did much the same, emotions a bit more dulled behind a blank mask but still there.

John glared at them, hands balled in fists at his sides, feet steady, shoulders squared, ready to take them all on and go down fighting.

Todd ended up calling off the culling and going to the next nearest inhabited planet instead.

He came back alone a few weeks later, the soonest he could get away. This man, identical to the one Todd had loved, seemed to switch between jobs: farming, hunting, occasional peace talks with others through the Stargate. He moved the same, acted the same, his accent was a little different but he sounded the same.

There was no way he was a clone, the clone would be too old by now and it’s very difficult to keep viable DNA this long. He couldn’t be a relative, John had no kids and he looked too alike. An alternate dimension perhaps? A timeline fluke?

All these thoughts went through Todd’s head as he trailed John into the woods. When he rounded the rock outcropping, he was gone and Todd paused, cursing internally at himself while he listened and felt the changes in the air with his facial slits to locate the man again.

There was a sharp jab in his back and Todd put his hands up, a habit learned from his years among the Atlantis humans. He turned slowly and there he was. He really was a perfect copy, down to the minute freckles on his face and the scruff down his neck.

“Why have you been hanging around the village?” John growled. His weapon looked like a very sharp stick but the use was still the same as a knife.

Todd stayed quiet.

John jabbed it forward again. “Where are the others?”

“Others?”

“There’s always more than one of you. Who are you hunting? A Runner?”

“No.”

“Then why are you here?”

Todd tilted his head, hands still up. “Tell me your name.”

“Why?”

“I’m curious.”

“Fron.”

“Not John?”

“No. That’s a stupid name.” ‘Flon’ narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

“You look like someone I knew.”

“Someone you were close to.” Todd looked up sharply and not-John smirked. “You were.”

“He died many years ago.”

“But I look like him.”

“You look exactly like him.” The stick actually lowered a bit when not-John stiffened in surprise. “Down to the flecks of gold in your eyes.”

Looking back, neither of them really knew what happened. Todd started coming around more, Flon took excuses to be around him, they grew closer.

Watching him die was as painful as the first time.

And a few years later, Todd was sitting on a hill looking at the wildflowers, another tendency he’d picked up from humans, to occasionally stop and appreciate the small things, when two boys almost tripped over him running through the grass. The older one immediately grabbed the other and shoved him behind himself, taking up a stance between the wraith and the smaller boy.

And he looked like a miniature version of John, angrily staring at Todd.

That one died in the next culling.

It was much longer until Todd found him again. He was an old man, the leader of his village. He didn’t hesitate sacrificing himself for a child and died being fed on before the child was fed on anyway.

Todd was walking through the corridors of his hive ship when he almost tripped over his own feet from looking back at the cocoon so fast.

There he was again, strung up in webbing and still unconscious.

The wraith didn’t hesitate in taking him down and carrying him to his own quarters. Todd sat at the desk by the bed, trying to concentrate on diagnostic listings or work on a few pet projects or go over those specs he told Ember he’d check, but he couldn’t keep his mind from wandering.

Not-John was as violent awakening as the original. Todd had to jump away from the bed to avoid getting hit when not-John realized what he was. Positioning himself between the human and the door may not have been the best idea when trying to calm someone down but Todd didn’t want not-John to go running out.

The idea of resurrection sounded as ridiculous out loud as it did in Todd’s head and John seemed to find it just as preposterous, by how he burst out laughing after Todd brought it up. At least he wasn’t holding up a pillow like some dollar store shield anymore.

But, as Todd explained how many he’d seen, how many identical clones of different cultures and times and manners, John seemed to get it. This wasn’t some time loop, he didn’t remember any of the others, nor were they repeating specific events, and alternate dimensions couldn’t keep popping out Johns like this.

John looked as lost as Todd felt.

Gimsha. That was this version’s name.

He was a miner that has just happened to be above ground buying supplies when the wraith had come to cull. Classic wrong place, wrong time.

Todd promised to get him back to his people, before Todd knew about the lung damage from breathing in the dust and soot, before it had become evident and this one died before they could get there.

Then came the day Todd thought he’d finally travelled back in time. He’d stepped through the gate looking for supplies, unknowingly walking into the backs of a team of Lanteans. When they turned, the similarities to the first Atlantis team Todd had met was stunning.

John was there again, gun raised. A nervous, pudgy-looking scientist behind him, obviously in middle of a sentence, scrambled for his gun, almost throwing his tablet in the grass. The short native dressed in the Earth vests and tactical black pants was sure in her stance and position, despite her size, and the other, much taller native was eye to eye with Todd, looking like he’d shoot Todd before taking his next breath.

There were differences in the team, besides their leader. The woman’s face was too round, the scientist too twitchy, the giant too…well, he was actually very close. Tattoos different but that was the extent of it on first glance.

The scientist’s face lit up when they finally got Todd to explain why he was gaping at them. He started rattling theories and equations and possibilities to the point that even Todd got confused. He was too busy staring at this version of John.

The accent was identical, the unsure yet sure tilt of his head, the way he gave orders and took control of the situation, deciding to take Todd to Atlantis to figure this all out. He hid his uneasiness at the situation well but Todd knew him better.

On Atlantis, the other scientists said as much as John’s did: there was no way to prove what Todd was saying was true. Todd didn’t care. Being back here, seeing this John, Jon, ironically enough, so close, it was both painful and refreshing. Like being able to breathe again but the air is bitter cold and makes the lungs ache.

They let Todd bring Ember and Kenny and their reactions seemed to be enough to confirm his story. Slowly, they started to give the three feeding wraith more span of the city. Many wraith now feeding like humans lived here and they casted odd looks at Todd, Ember, and Kenny, yet no hostilities ever broke out.

John seemed uncomfortable being around him. Todd had purposely left out the part about their being together…many times through many lifetimes. He was hesitant to let on more about John’s habits than he already had, this man was a bit more reclusive than Todd’s, which was quite impressive considering.

Finding him on the same balcony they used to spend time together was complete accident. Todd had thought John was off on a mission and by the time he realized John was up here, he’d already been noticed. So he slowly came forward to join him leaning against the railing, watching the sun wash the ocean in color.

John finally asked what they’d been, Todd and the other him’s and Todd couldn’t lie to him. If anything, John seemed to relax when Todd told him they’d been together for majority of his life, the first him’s. And a few times with a few of the others.

“That’d explain why my chest feels like it’s constricting whenever you’re around.” John smiled at his hands. “Ghost feelings, I guess.”

Todd bowed his head. No need to get his hopes up. He should leave.

John took his hand, gently, hesitantly. The touch sent lightning up Todd’s arm but he didn’t pull away.

“Maybe we can see if I got phantom memories rattling around?”

“You don’t.”

“Prove it to me anyway.”

They kissed as the sun set fully, the sky darkening and the stars twinkling to life. The stars that held so many other reincarnations, just to bring Todd’s back to him.

**Author's Note:**

> This ending is rough, I don't really like how I wrote this but also couldn't find much to change...


End file.
